#20

The judges that grade sleep award style-points. A good bowl nap never fails to impress.

Via Psycho Kitty, up in Wisconsin

#19

It’s better to be cute than smart (or even awake, really).

Via Startable

#16

Don’t get so fat that you can’t stop things like this from happening. Have some self-respect.

Via nobon

#15

When they’ve clearly spent a bunch of money on your food, act like you can taste a difference.

Via acewepeel

#14

You get about one year where this face serves as a “get out of jail free” card. Make a list of everything you want to eat, break, shred or poop on, and carpe diem.

(via lefemmeenrouge)

#13

If you have to resort to outfits for comedy, you’re one step away from gratuitously bathing your junk for attention. Props are okay, but keep it high-brow.

(via paurina)

#12

When you see a camera, imitate your closest roommate. You will not believe how funny they find this. Easy laughs, and (if your roommates love you), easy treats. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

Via goldenrainbows

#9

When you encounter a male dog, hiss, and you’ll quickly be in charge.

When you encounter a female dog… run like hell from the bitch. She wants to eat you.

Via inspiro

#8

There are two types of toys:

1. Cardboard - Requires no explanation.
2. Expensive - Anything that costs +$100 is to be fiddled with, slept upon, and, ideally, dropped from four or more feet.

Anything packaged as a “cat toy” is to be briefly inspected, then rejected.

Via damien

#7

Don’t just focus on the taste of the meal. Take a moment to appreciate the presentation.

Via lovemidori

#6

The less convenient your nap is for your “roommate”, the better you’ll sleep.

Via caturday